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All The Feels & No Words

I’m currently curled up on my couch waiting for my Door Dash delivery to come.

(I know I should probably cook, but have some sympathy for your girl!)

The door bell rings, and although I know it’s coming, I freeze.

I throw the blanket over my head as if it makes me invisible and hold my breathe waiting for them to drop my meal and go.

As I emerge from my nest of safety it hits me like a flood of emotions…

That moment perfectly sums up my past month!

A violent liver attack left me in the ICU for a week.

Transported from Harrisburg to Philadelphia via ambulance for further evaluation.

Released for additional follow-up and multiple procedures, medication adjustments, and MELD score changes.

We have reached Act 3 of this epic saga…

But in an instant I was hit with the reality of my own mortality.

I went from skipping along in life, relishing in the beauty of my recent purple Marc Jacobs bag, that was a steal at Marshalls.


Discussing to-go bag plans, bill pay options, and various other things that most people don’t consider on a normal day.

Figuring out work dynamics, having difficult conversations, but mostly dealing with the anxiety that what I have hoped for happening for so long being within reach.

I was asked by a dear friend this week how I felt about all of the changes and my response was “Overwhelmed, but in a good way!”

Confiding in this friend was the relief that I needed.

It was the doorbell that allowed me to come back to reality from the intermission of the beginning of this saga!

Act 1:

Comprised of shock, disbelief, and a grown woman’s unnecessary rebellion that went largely unnoticed. (Appropriately so)

Act 2:

Capped off with betrayal but thankfulness, unspeakable joy, and an overwhelming appreciation for my emerging tribe!

Act 3:

Which is just now being written, but my hope is that it is one that embraces the messiness of life changing circumstances!

So, I encourage you to grab your snacks, lean in, because the life changing, tear jerking moments are just beginning.

And, if today is any indication, it’s going to be an act to remember, because at this point throwing myself on the floor or couch with over the top emotions have become my specialty!

Thank you for continuing to journey along with me.

Although I don’t believe food is for sharing, stories most definitely are!

And this story is just getting heated up…….

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