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No Words, Just Grief

Updated: May 27, 2022

As I climb into bed on May 24, 2022 my heart is breaking.

As someone who works with teenagers, my heart bleeds for the kids who walked into school today not knowing it was their last day.

On a daily basis I sit with students who are experiencing great pain and are working through the challenge of calling it by name and healing from it.

On a daily basis I sit with kids who don’t understand the chain reaction that their decisions hold.

On a daily basis I sit with kids who know trauma not as a catchphrase to explain a bad day but as something that has soul piercing eyes, a blood curdling cry, or is the thief of their innocence and joy.

My heart breaks for the pain that families are experiencing in deep, unrelenting, nausea inducing waves.

My heart is heavy with knowing the day to day challenges that teenagers experience with a lack of understanding as to how they ended up at that juncture.

Yet, I know how they ended up at the here and now…

We have failed to act as adults to protect their innocence.

We have failed to acknowledge that joy can be stolen in a single moment and in the blink of an eye.

We have failed to be strong enough to push back against the desires of culture and technology with fears of being on the wrong side of popularity.

We have failed to stand up to the continued injustices, hoping that each one would be the catalyst to push the scale of power in the right direction.

But it hasn’t…

The pain and grief that haunts our school hallways, our sacred gatherings, and lingers with an unwanted encounter is disgusting.

The fear and urgency that mingles as one when a person steps into unfamiliar environments is disrespectful.

The cliché phrases being passed around as common language is unwanted and inappropriate at such a repetitive use.

My heart is experiencing a new type of pain for not only the families of the latest school shooting but those who are triggered by this event on such a deep and painful level.

I‘m sorry that we continue to fail your children and their futures.

I’m sorry that the memory of your child and the loss suffered is tainted with each breaking news cycle.

I‘m sorry that we have the power to make some changes yet fail to continually do something.

But most importantly, I’m sorry that we have failed you at all.

A failure that should have never happened at all…..

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