Season 37, Episode 28

Title: A Raspy Voice

Over the weekend I stood smack dab in the middle of one of the most chaotic moments I've had in a long time. 

I stood still while insults were being thrown, doors slammed, and voices raised.

With my eyes open but my heart praying, asking God who was coming to help restore order in the middle of this mess. 

He responded by saying "I sent you to be the calm in the storm and a gentle touch of comfort with a patient and sincere tone!"

The moment the 2nd door slammed and the insults started flying at warp speed I completely forgot that I had been equipped for such a time as this!

I don't know if I'm the only one who has ever forgotten the authority or power that we have to speak to the storms in the powerful name of Jesus to have them cease!

Or that just a simple moment of faith can move the most stubborn of mountains that seems impossible to shift.

When I took time to reflect, after the environment settled drastically, I noticed that lately that has been my norm.

Forgetting in an instant the power and importance of my voice. 

The crazy part is that when I'm home with my parents, their house instantly becomes my own. 

I haven't paid a single bill at that address unless we count perfect sarcastic timing as payment to keep the electric going. 

Or if a quick retort and occasional attitude can go towards a water bill.

If only those things counted, then I could proudly say that I've been paying bills since I was 8 years old. 

Yet, somehow without having any authority or stake in their home I am far more comfortable to ask the lingering guest or obnoxious visitor to leave their house. 

So when the Lord reminded me that I was sent and called I was startled at the realization that I am more comfortable standing in authority I have never been given than what has been rightfully designed for me.

So, in that moment I sat furiously writing because I needed to process the overwhelming empowering moment I was experiencing.

Speechless that in spite of clear cut directions from God as to who He has called me to be and what He has given me authority to do, I acted as if I had no clue.

Confused that the very thing that has been cultivated in me over the past few years, I suddenly forgot it was mine for the taking. 

God's gentle rebuke was gracious and kind in that moment.

The very thing that I needed to step into the calm space in which I was standing at the time. 

Now, I'm not going to say that once everything clicked, I moved into action with no hiccups, because it’s taking me a little bit after to get the quiver out of my voice and for the volume and tone to be just right.

It never ceases to amaze me that the things I thought I would have mastered by now I’m still very much a beginner.

I still have room to grow, and the grace, never-ending kindness that our Heavenly Father bestows upon me is unrelenting. 

So today, I'm walking in wobbly confidence that my voice was given to me in this moment and in this season to be used, not silenced. 

Because its a voice to speak life. 

A voice to encourage.

A voice to advocate.

A voice to fiercely protect.

A voice to speak of My God, in a way that leaves no room for uncertainty or doubt.

A voice that will always have a presence of sarcasm, silliness, and boldness. 

Sometimes being on mission feels like standing in the middle of constant chaos wondering who is going to step in, and the entire time the answer is us, who have been called, empowered, and developed for that very assignment.