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Slow Motion

The past few weekends have been full of life.

A mixture of laughter, love, silliness, honest truths, grief, and heavy with expectations of growth, renewal, and peace.

I’ve enjoyed the pace and grace that each one brings.

Holding firm to promises, basking in reminders, and sitting in the moment.

I’ve become a ball of emotions and it’s a mixture of all of the feelings and none at the same time.

(Which isn’t anything new if you know me.)

Today I was asked “If I was ok” and my response was simple “Yes, I’m fine.“

Which is in no way a lie.

However, it’s a very strange response in the midst of my current dynamic.

It’s hard to put into words how I stay calm and unshaken during moments of chaos or crisis.

Quite honestly that has been the nature of my life the past several years.

Always finding a way to be ok with all the nonsense and heavy decisions that needed to be made.

Whether positive or negative.

Whether having a large impact and or as small as a simple stone tossed in the ocean.

I’ve mastered the art of moving through unscathed.

Crafting coping strategies that are peaceful, healthy, and sustainable with all the ups and downs of the career path I have chosen.

(Hello, silly stickers and cups made for those in my tiny world.)

Yet, I’ve learned that you can’t outrun the consequences of your actions and choices, because they have no expiration date!

And as I sat at the end of an exhausting busy, fun, yet beautifully hard past few weeks it echoed in the stillness.

Im repeating the words that I’ve said to my residents the past week and a half back to myself.

“You can’t outrun the consequences of your decisions because they have no expiration date!”

I realized that the busy of the past several weeks has finally caught up with me.

And it looks different than what I thought it would.

It’s shown up in the form of sporadic creativity and limited words.

It’s shown up in delayed text messages and missed phone calls.

It’s been a slow motion process but a steady reminder of the need for pace and grace.

Pacing myself to not burn out or run out of passion, love, and commitment to what has been placed in front of me.

Grace to stop, pause, and breathe and walk in the confidence that it’s ok to not always show up.

Now, I wouldn’t trade the memories created, tears held and shared, or laugh until you cry moments with my community!

But, I am learning to prioritize a slower pace and mindful moments for my own well being.

And if you find yourself saying “I’m fine” with no intentional thought or words to follow up” , maybe it’s time to pause.

May you have intentional moments to slow your pace and understand the grace needed for mindful spaces to thrive.

Because after all, we’re meant to be more than just fine! We’re created to thrive!

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